Chance Encounter

“Late one afternoon

On my way home from work

I stopped by the dry cleaners

To pick up a jacket and shirt

And on my way out I remembered
I needed some eggs and milk

So I walked over to the mart

And saw the one who made my heart wilt

She caught my eyes in a glimmer

And looked away unnoticing

Then memory crept in

And her eyes started refocusing

For a moment time slowed

As fluid in her eyes began showing

Memories of a past life

And love long lost were emoting

I managed a “Hello love”

Through an unsteady, cracking voice

And despite my hesitance

A “Hi there” was her response of choice

“I couldn’t believe

After all these years
Of all the places

That I’d run into you here.”
She responded politely

That she was visiting family

Happy to see me

And wondered if Life had been good to me?

“Well, I graduated school
And ran straight for NYC
Without any money saved
I missed out on celebrity
But I returned to Jersey
Settled in on education

Teaching while still writing

Awaiting my motivation

To pen the perfect masterpiece
A pinnacle to all of my creations

Unfortunately I’d ran ashore

And was in need of inspiration”

I asked how she had been

She replied she was doing fine
Asked about her love life
Her response was merely a sigh

She uttered not a syllable

Yet, her face remained endearing
She offered a similar inquisition
A silent replica of my query

“There have been a few
Casual acquaintances

Nothing very special

Usually high-maintenance”
I didn’t say I stopped looking
Just that I didn’t have the time

Or that no one could compare
I’m sure that she knew why

We started down an old path
And began revisiting the past
How strong we thought our love was
And swore it would always last

Then she began to weep
As she reached inside her purse
I thought perhaps for a tissue
What she revealed made it worse

In the palm of her hand
A symbol of every empty promise
A tiny silver ring
A reminder of all that was dishonest

I told her that I was sorry
That with time I had changed

A sardonic smile response,
“Good, but you’re a little too late”

And that reminded me of a lyric

Of a musician we both revered

And in daydream I began humming

A song of ours that moved her to tears

“Cause all I wanna be

Is the minute that you hold me in
When you pretend that
I’m all that you waited for
Then time slips to nothing
And I’m better than I’ve ever been
I’m suspended…”
She begged me please to stop
And I awoke to find her wincing

Caressing her chin upward
Her brown eyes seemed fairly convincing

That what was once something special
A love so pure and unique
Was nothing more than a memory
A falling star now obsolete

And as I was going to ask her
A curious man began to approach
And before he muttered a word
I knew who he was before he spoke
“There you are honey
I must have lost you in aisle eight
We really must be going
Dinner’s soon and we’re running late”
Fighting tears she gave a look
And tried desperately to introduce

My hope now fully faded,
“Thanks a lot for the tip…I’ll try to put it to use”
I turned and walked away
As if nothing more than a stranger
Thought of all those broken promises
And how much that must have changed her

After dinner that night
I received a call
I repeatedly said “Hello?”
But there was no response at all
Somehow amidst the silence
I suddenly heard her speak
There wasn’t an audible word
I simply sensed that it was she
So I remained on the line
And waited ever so patiently
Reliving every moment
Held between her and me
I could feel her touching my face
Caressing my shoulders like she used to
I could sense the warmth of her breath
Wishing I could hold her the way I used to
Then right as I was about to confess
That I loved her and I’d never move on
I heard a sigh and then a click
And once again she was gone.” -E.Ricci, January 12, 2008 …back when it all mattered.

Won’t be Played the Fool…

Alot on my plate these last few days.

Between complications in with the ex, (yes, the Ex), new dating prospects, and a life changing decision that I’ve been doing some thinking about and recently come to a conclusion upon, I simply don’t know where to begin.

But, I’m about to get ready to head out on a second date so, I’ll update either later tonight or tomorrow.

Ciao.

Posting,

E.Ricci

Don’t Get Up, I can find my way to the door…

“…You’ve shown me how now
To walk away
But even if I left
The feeling stays

It’s clear now that your found
Something I can’t be
And you can’t risk losing that comfort
By putting your faith in me

Now we’re reduced to remembering

Just know

This has nothing to do with me
And everything with you
I thought that we were
Worth saving

But you’ve drifted away from this
And there’s no pulling you back in
I can’t be the only one here
Believing…” -Everything, Averi

It’s Over.

Posting,

E.Ricci

Fireworks & Freedom

This Fourth of July weekend was if anything, uneventful. In fact, one could say that it was down right depressing to a degree.

A three day weekend that actually began Thursday night after getting out of work, turned out to be fairly dull with one exception, that coming Saturday afternoon in the form of two old friends from school coming back this way to celebrate one of our college buddies acceptance and first day in the Police academy beginning Monday.

We Did it Live from the ATL

It’s been nearly a week since my last post and that one had an all together different motive other than updating or providing current events about what I’ve been up to.

Anyways…

I’m two weeks removed from a four day getaway to good ol’ Atlanta, Georgia.

Atlanta, home of the georgia peach, beautiful southern belles with intriguing twang, the Atlanta Braves, some poppin’ hot spots, decent shopping destinations, and quite possibly the highest population of homeless paupers and beggars in any United States metropolis.

I still miss you…

She told me what you said while I’ve been away

Praying for something better, perhaps another day
She said, I think you should know what she wrote
And overwhelmed me with words from a note
“I still miss you, I’ve done everything to move on like i’m supposed to…I still miss you”

At first glance I figured it was for someone else
By now you’d probably made out of that old spell
That love was lost and what you had once felt
By now you’d given away to somebody else

Ladies & Gentlemen, We Have Pets

The delayed inevitability has finally come to fruition.

Afterall, what kind of a bachelor has a bachelor pad with no pets???

Yes, folks. We’ve finally got some pets in the apartment!

One for One in the AC run

Well well well,

A last minute trip to Atlantic City for what was to be your boy’s very first gambling endeavor, a little No-limits Texas Hold’em, turned into quite the Virgin Voyage.

Walked into the Taj Mahal with a mere 100 bucks and some change, walked out with a little over $300. Not too shabby.

It’s like 6a.m. and I’m exhausted so, it’s time to call it a night.

Sweet dreams all.

Posting,

 

E.Ricci

Fingertips & Innocence…

“I fell to pieces
‘Cause you never came back
I tore it all apart
Till there was nothing left
Yes I fell to pieces
You never came back
I’m still waiting here…

You filled me
And left me
With absolutely nothing.”

Posting,

E.Ricci

Drown Me, Drown Me In…

It is a rare yet, blissful occasion when you can actually make the claim, “Wow, this weekend was long,” and mean it in a positive light.

That was the case this weekend. On the cusp of the first true heat wave of the summer I partook in the college graduation celebration that was being held in honor of my roommate’s accomplishment this May. It was quite an enjoyable time. In addition to the festivities, this was the first get together at my roomie’s parents house since their recent investment in a spacious in-ground pool and jacuzzi. On a 90 degree Saturday in early summer, I can only think of one word to describe their pool and the refreshingly cool water it contained; GLORIOUS!

After assisting some in the preparations for the event both the day of and the day before, I spent a little time working on my tan, relaxing in the jacuzzi, getting a few games of volley ball in and all while knocking a few Corona’s back in process. I gorged myself on delicious foods, deserts, warm sunshine, and great conversation from good company. It was an absolutely splendid night of fun and relaxation.

The topper would’ve and could’ve been successful attempt at flirting and trying to convince my roommate’s girlfriend’s exceptionally hot Mom to “teach me a few new tricks”. But, I suppose we can’t always have everything go our way. Just kidding…

I spent today, Sunday, recouping from the excessive indulging of Saturday by putting in a double hour session at the gym in the early day. By afternoon, I was back at the roomie’s parents and back in the Sunny side of the waterhole vollying a few games. Not quite satisfied from the workout earlier in the day, and feeling rather guilty about my overindulgence the day before, I thought it was a good idea to go for a run.

Mental Note: NEVER go running in the middle of the day during a 95 degree day at the beginning of a heat wave.

Half way through the run I almost keeled over from sweat and exhaustion. Sensing a possible heat stroke or maybe worse, I slowed my run to a barely definable jog and returned back home presumably before my lungs collapsed and my heart gave out.

Uh…Uhh…Other news…

Saw the Ex again this weekend. Actually, it was on Friday afternoon. I was en route to the local liquor store from my roomie’s parents house with his father. We were in the middle of what us college kids call a “beer run” to pick up “supplies” for the graduation party when following a sharp left turn who did I notice waiting at the light?

I’m pretty close to my rommate and his family, so close I consider them my own family. Point is, the father was familiar with the girl and the story behind her and I. He noticed her first and, assuming I hadn’t seen her idling at the intersection, mentioned to me, “I guess you didn’t see that landmine huh?”

“Oh, yeah…believe me, I saw it. Just keep driving,” I wryly replied.

We’re in the liquor store grabbing the needed “supplies” for the next day’s expedition, when the next song on the store radio begins to play and it immediately begins to get louder in my eardrums.

“I miss the sound of your voice
I miss the rush of your skin…”I know what it is. I know who it is. And what it means….well, meant.

 

Matt Nathanson…damn it. I haven’t listened to anything from him since she walked out. I can’t do it. I just can’t bear to hear it. I break down everytime. And now, here I am in the middle of a liquor store with six cases of Mexico and the Rockies finest, a bottle of Cuervo and a bottle of Bacardi Superior and I’m starting to get queasy and weak in the knees. Mr. Macho is buckling at the sound of an old love song that should hold no meaning anymore. What the fuck.

I could feel my face turning red and it was all I could do to slow the memories and my breathing. I looked down at my fore arms and noticed the veins beginning to bulge; my blood pressure must have been sky-rocketing.

We reached the check out lane and while I was waiting for my roomie’s father to pay the bill, I felt an uncontrollable urge to do something I hadn’t done in nearly half a year, something forbidden, something unnecessary because I all ready knew the effect and response it would have as well as the repercussions it may potentially bring with it. Yet, it was the only thing that made sense to me, the only thing that I can honestly say with all of my heart felt like the right thing to do. So I did it.

New Message:

I Miss the sound of your voice
I Miss the rush of your skin…

Sending Message
“Now look what you’ve done!”
Sending Message
“Fuck, why are you doing this?!?!?!?”
Sending Message
“Just hit cancel, just hit cancel”
Sending Message
“She’s not going to respond, you’re dead to her. It’s not too late, just hit the canc…”
Message Sent.
“Crap!”

It was an impulse. A knee-jerk reaction. I knew it wasn’t something I should have done. But, I couldn’t help it. I miss her. I miss everything about her. Truth is, I was a fool. I know it. I still love her. I’m still in love with her.

But, I knew she wasn’t going to respond. Not ever. Yet, it was still the only thing that felt right. I did it. What’s done is done. And though she still hasn’t responded and I’ve probably made myself look like a fool, I don’t give a damn. I love her. Nothing else matters to me.

Posting,

E.Ricci