Third “Board”

Yes, another suitor.

She’s a girl from work. Very nice. Though, a little sketchy it seems.

I was working Sunday morning. It was near the end of the shift; we were talking about snowboarding and she offered her number. Which was fine by me because it made my life easier. I was on the prowl for her number anyway.

I tried calling her later that evening to get to know her a little better and see if she’d be interested in going out sometime this week.

“Please enjoy the music while your party is being reached.”

A song starts playing from one of those older 80’s Poofy Hair with Makeup rock bands. I actually know this one, “Here I Go Again” by Whitesnake…..”Different choice, a little unusual,” I think to myself.

I get sent to voicemail. Crap! What’s even more discouraging is that while i’m deciding in the three seconds before the beep as to whether or not I leave a message thereby metaphorically “leaving the ball in her court”, another prompt chimes in, “This person’s voicebox is full.”

Well, that was an easy decision…

So I text her and tell her to give me a call.

We finally get in touch on Tuesday. She’s busy today with classwork, but she’d love to do something Wednesday night.

Game On!!!

We’re going out tonight for drinks and some dinner.

Wish me luck,

Posting,

E.Ricci

Facebook Stalking? Oh Internet…What happened to letters and telephones?

Facebook Stalking: A not-so-new or trendy term in today’s dating society, especially at the high school and collegiate levels.

Thanks to the wonderous technologies afforded to our generation, the concepts of a completely blind date are almost extinct.

It’s an interesting topic of discussion that I engaged while in ironically, of all places, a computer lab.

According to UrbanDictionary.com, Facebook Stalking is a covert method of investigation using Facebook.com. It’s good for discovering a wealth of information about people you don’t actually know.

The Dream…Domestic Delusions of a Broken Man

It’s nearly one in the morning. I’m wide awake now. I was sleeping. But I was awoken by a recurring dream I’ve been having.

And now I can’t resume sleeping because this dream has my stomach in knots.

It’s the same dream I’ve been having for three months.

Second “Board” update I

“Oh, I just got home from work i’m watching tv now and I just remembered to call.”

The words via text message from the Salad Works/Hard to Read girl at about 9:30 pm.

At around 11:30 am yesterday I asked her if she was busy and wanted to go out that evening. She responded that she would be working till 8:30 pm but after had no plans and the idea of going out after work, “Sounds great.”

So I told her to give me a call when she got out of work at 8:30. She said ok.

An hour passed. No call.

Mind you, I was in the company of a buddy from college who just happened to be in the area at the time. I was planning on just relaxing with him until Salad Works girl called, at which point I would head out to go pick her up and begin our evening dinner date.

When she finally called, which by the way- she didn’t even call she sent a text message, she informed me that she was watching tv and remembered over an hour after her shift had ended to contact me. What’s worse is, she gave no impression or inclination about wanting to head out at this point.

And frankly, I wasn’t much in the mood to go spending time, money, and effort on a girl that obviously didn’t find me important enough to remember to call. She didn’t even show the decency to call, she sent a text message instead. Come on?!

I was a little disappointed, a pretty frustrated with her. I didn’t ask much of her. I can understand if a person is so busy that it slips their mind about the conversation and the plans that we had made earlier in the day.

But, when you finally do remember that I asked you to call, at least show a little class and call. When you do call, it’d be nice if you offered an apology for forgetting and leaving me waiting.

And if, perhaps, it is the case that you really didn’t feel up for going out after work and that may be why you didn’t call till so late, do me a favor; just call and say it. It looks so much better and respectable for a person to call and say, “hey, I know we had plans tonight but, i’m kind of tired from work and I’d much rather stay in and take a rain check on that date.”

Do not take the cowardly way out by delaying the call call either hoping I’ll forget our plans or in an effort to stall until you’ve come up with the fortitude or a good enough excuse to give me the “brush off”. It seems to me like the right thing to do.

Oh well. Her loss.

Second “Board” Status: Mission Aborted

 I’m off to work so,

Posting,

E.Ricci

Second “Board”

Tonight I will be grabbing another “board”.

This time it will be the girl I mentioned in the previous post. Just to refresh, I have all ready taken this girl out before and we did Salad Works earlier this week. She’s the very hard to read one.

 Well, i’m gonna take another crack at trying to decipher her. Hopefully all goes well.

Not sure what i’m planning for the evening, but i’m definitely feeling dinner. Perhaps, a few drinks afterwards at the bar. We’ll see.

I’ll keep you posted,

E.Ricci

Another interesting week of events…

Hello all,

It’s been quite the week for me. My mom has been ill with what doctor’s have diagnosed as walking pneumonia.

So, as a good boy, I’ve been spending the last few evenings at her house keeping watch and taking care of her and assuming home responsibilities.

Last night I went out to a local Hibachi with some friends from school. It was enjoyable. Then half way through the evening one of my friends starts asking me about my recent breakup.

Mind you, I tried avoiding the topic all together. I know how cumbersome and mood dulling it can be to have someone start talking about their breakup, their ex, or something regarding a failed intimate relationship. So I tried shying from the subject, remaining upbeat and positive about other things.

This same friend that initiated the conversation, also began our joint freefall into all things hopelessly romantic by informing me of his recent relationship disaster, an account that seemed to follow my own script page for page.

As we were force feeding each other the painful details of our respective failures, it became obvious that we were both boring and annoying the rest of our friends.

I remembered quickly, “They came here for a good time with us, not to hear our pity party and exchange of numbingly redundant advice.”

I immediately changed the subject, allowing the night to move in a much more pleasant direction than where it was heading.

…I’ve been thinking about and contacting a few girls that I’ve met in the past couple of weeks.

I did meet up with one of these girls on Tuesday at the gym. We didn’t work out together but we did grab an early dinner at Salad Works.

She’s interesting and attractive. I’ve had her out on a previous movie date and things seemed to have went well. I just can’t seem to get a gauge on her. I’m not sure if she’s interested, or if I’m nothing more to her than a warm meal and relaxing conversation every other Saturday.

She’s a hard read. Perhaps, I’m just out of touch or need a little tuning up on these endeavors. I’m not really sure.

Other than that, I haven’t had much going on in the dating scene this week. Hopefully the weekend will add up to something.

Likely weekend events in the preliminary planning stages include;

A. Another guy’s night out…perhaps, just towards something more of a bar scene and not so much a club. We’ll see. I may be swayed in either direction.

B. A possible “experiment”, i.e. date, with one of the female subjects that I have been in contact with recently.

C. Maybe just some down time. A little “Me on Me” time this weekend. We get so wrapped up in class, work, obligations, and then wanting to spend time meeting and dating and potentially finding love in new places that we fail at giving ourselves a little time to refocus or recenter.

Plus, with my ex and I’s anniversary just passing this past weekend and my birthday looming a week from now, I’m beginning to feel emotionally drained.

We’ll see. I say I’ll take a break now. But, by tomorrow evening or Saturday I will likely be all revved up to go out and do something, anything.

Posting,

E.Ricci

Some Dating Advice Sites

So i’m in class surfing the web for some Dating Experts and online dating advice and here are few things that have caught my initial attention.

Mind you, I’ll keep looking and adding more when I do a little more delving into the subject.

For now, here’s what has caught my eye:

Bella- Misadventures in Atlanta -”Hotlanta’s” very own Carrie Bradshaw. Just some interesting dating advice from a fellow blogger at the Atlanta Journal Constitution. A female’s perspective, this can be helpful, though for us males struggling to completely understand the underpinnings of the complicated opposite sex.

Allstardatingtips.com -  A hip new site that opened this Valentine’s Day. Dedicated to, and I quote, “teaching singles the art of dating.” I’m still wandering my way through this site. I’ll catch you up more on my findings here.

David Wygant -  America’s quintessential poster boy for dating in the 21st Century. Offers a lot of advice on wide array of topics for singles in the dating scene.
That’s about it for now.  I’ll get back to you with more  info when available.

Posting,

E.Ricci

Stupid Boys and Evil Girls

Why is it that every song can either remind of you someone you love or someone you desparately miss?

 I’m on my way home from dinner at my parents’ house this evening and I must have switched radio stations a half dozen times in the ten minutes it took me to reach my apartment. Every song reminds me of my Ex.

I hate it. I hate missing her. I hate loving her still. And music, especially songs about love and lovey dovey stuff remind me about her, and nearly bring me to tears at times.

It’s difficult enough going through the day trying not to think of her and what once was and what will never be. It’s a challenge enough to not try to call her and tell her I love her and I miss her and I want her to come home. Now, I can’t even enjoy a little music without feeling like the world is closing in on me.

Dating, hopefully, will serve as a therapy; an alleviation of the stress, hurt, anxiety, and overbearing emotion that floods into my body along with the thoughts of her that come crashing in with those feelings…or vice versa.

The sad thing is, I love her still. She walked out on me. And yet, I blame myself for what went wrong. I feel responsible for it happening. My friends all say that I tried, I did more than I should or could have, that she wasn’t fully in it, it wasn’t my fault, she just didn’t care enough to wanna keep trying and working at it.

Yet, I still feel like crap about it. I feel like I could have been a better person, a better man for her. I feel like I didn’t give her enough, even though I know I gave her everything I had.

And it’s moments like these where I start to get overwhelmed. I begin to tear myself down. I start wishing for things that aren’t possible or attainable. I try to reason and plead and negotiate with spiritual powers, a Higher Being to help bring her back. For no reason, to no avail.

She’s not coming back. I need to move on. Sadly, deep down, I can honestly say, I love her unconditionally. No matter what she did to me, no matter how hurtful, I’m a fool to admit this, but, I’d welcome her back with open arms and an open heart.

What sucks is, even if I was with another girl, I’m convinced that if she came waltzing back into my life and wanting to try again, I’d give in like a fool and take her back, knowing full well she doesn’t deserve me and there’s nothing guaranteeing she wouldn’t pull the same stunt and walk back out of my life whenever she felt the whim to do so.

I’m a sucker for her. My pride is damn near gone. And I’m not one to play games, deny the way I feel, or hide it, playing hard to get. I call it the way it is, I wear my heart on my sleeve, especially with her. I love her. I know I shouldn’t.  I know she doesn’t deserve it after what she’s put me through. But I can’t deny the way I feel.

What sucks is, I know she’d never do the same for me. And she’d never come back to me or give me another chance. Yet, I love her irregardless of this fact. And i’m a fool for it.

I know that dating and moving on is the right thing to do though. That’s why i’m doing it. In my head I know it’s what is best. That is partially why I’m doing it. I know that after my little moment of weakness here, someday, one day, I’ll be able to move on and I’ll look back on this moment and laugh. I’ll laugh at the thought of ever thinking I loved her this much or that I wanted her unconditionally in my life.

If only you could turn love off as quickly as it manages to be turned on…

One day I’ll look her in the face and think to myself, “What did I ever see in you? Really? What could have possibly been so special in you then?”

And one day, I’ll meet a girl that will be worth the feelings I have for my Ex. And she’ll cherish and appreciate these feelings. And i’ll realize and understand what real true unconditional love is. It’ll be far better than what I thought I had with her. I know it.

I have to look at it that way. I have to think positively about this. It’s her loss. No way is it mines. She’ll see that one day. And one day will be too late.

Posting,

And feeling a hell of a lot better now,

E.Ricci

Sunday Roundup

Another weekend gone by and here’s what I learned:

1. Boxing parties that i’ve gone to and paid a $10 door cover to see the fight, should not be disturbed midway through the fight by a circus of women invited by the host as post-fight entertainment for the guests.

I came to see a fight, not a bunch of girls that couldn’t sway my focus from watching paint dry let alone one of biggest rematch main cards in recent boxing history.

2. Being sick and asking for a girl’s phone number are two physical gestures that should not be performed simultaneously by anyone. I don’t care if your Matthew McConaughey, she wont bite on bait that sniffles and sounds like a TB patient when choking out a laugh.

3. A quick hit from the phone calls from this week:

“Yeah, I’ve got a boyfriend. But, we can still hang out if you want. I’m working Valentine’s Day…After I had my daughter in April I’ve been working alot. But I plan on going back to college sometime soon…” -a recent phone conversation between myself and a cute waittress that I left my number with. Left quite the first impression on me if you couldn’t guess.

SUCCESS!!! : /

4. Review of Friday: (from It’s Friday Night and I just got paid…)

It’s not a good look when you head into a club in the middle of the city anticipating a night of casual drinking, dancing, and close encounters with nice young ladies and you end up being one in the majority of male suitors competing for a small handful of girls, most of whom weren’t particularly interested in being approached by unfamiliar faces of the opposite sex.

As I had confessed on Friday’s post before heading out, I’m not and have never been much of a dancer or club-goer. Yet, some of my boys were heading out for the evening and it seemed like a good opportunity for fun and to meet new faces.

I felt good entering into the endeavor, all decked out, hair did up, looking spiffy, if I do say so myself. I had my little crash course on basic club dancing given to me by my friends.

We arrived there around midnight. And as we’re walking in, I realized, “What the hell am I doing here?”

What’s worse is that after we walked in, it became immediately apparent that we’d entered into a quote un quote, “Sausage Fest”, as one of my friends uttered.

“Wwwhhhhaaaaat a waste of a $15 cover,” I responded.

For every girl in the establishment there had to have been 12-15 guys. Not a good ratio. Especially when almost every one of those guys were there to meet and dance with a girl and not every one of those girls were planning to meet and dance with a new guy.

We didn’t stay long.

And for the little bit of time that we were there we didn’t find much success.

It really wasn’t my environment. Perhaps, it was the choice of venue, the ambiance, the music, or even just the lack of prospective suitors. For whatever reason, I just didn’t feel comfortable in the situation and I almost felt relieved at our early departure.

There must be a better way to go about this? I mean, let’s look at this scenario for a second;

First, you get all dressed up, maybe a little overdressed in some instances.
Then, you get together with a bunch of your friends and head out to a club, (is it just me or does going out in a group of people of the same sex with the intention of meeting and connecting with those of the opposite sex seem a little counter productive in theory?)
Next, you pay money for the bridge toll, money to park if you can’t find any free parking, money for the door cover, money for drinks, money for the friend who didn’t bring enough money and ran out all ready, and maybe if your a gentleman like me you potentially spend money on drinks for a girl that you’ve met and actually like.
Last, you wander aimlessly through a hot, humid, sweaty, smelly sea of people girating and grinding all over each other like simpletons pretending to be a slightly evolved modern chromagnum.
By the end of the evening, your hot, sweaty, out of money, slightly buzzed but wearing off, and the probability is high that you didn’t end up leaving the club with a phone number, let alone a fine female.

A man dressing up, blowing money, grinding and humping up on an unknowing girl in a dark, humid, strange, loud environment…hm…the epitome of a gentleman…and very seductive. I think not.

Do women even like this? Is this really what women are doing? Or what they even want?

Apparently not. According to an article written by Bill Stieg of Men’s Health, most women are repulsed by the modern day art of attraction and seduction being employed by men.

In a study done by Jonathan Huber M.D., of Queens University College in Kingston, Ontario, only 3 out of 10 women find men grinding on women in clubs to be acceptable behavior.

In the same article, a Men’s Health survey of women revealed that most find the action of approaching a woman in a club and trying to grind your pelvis onto theirs in a sexually provocative way to be digusting, disrespectful, and a sign of desperation on the male’s behalf.

Ouch… basically, if you’re a man that goes into clubs, these women think you’re a desperate pig that is incapable of being a gentleman.

Now, most men would argue, as Stieg’s article also points out, that there are some women out there that find this to be acceptable behavior and that in men’s opinions, it’s easier and less time consuming of a way to achieve your goals then alterior methods.

Even still, I find there’s a simple practice of principles, morals and self-respect that seems to be lacking in this circumstance. Which, in turn, lends itself to a perception of disrespectful guys meeting nasty girls with nothing positive to gain from these encounters.

Ugh…

Maybe I’m too much of a gentleman to offer myself up to this. Maybe I am too old. Then again, maybe I wasn’t quite inebriated enough to relieve myself of all my inhibitions about the situation.

Who knows.

This much I believe to be true…as my father once said, “You won’t meet any nice girls at the club worth taking home to meet you Mother.” I believe this rule holds true for the women too.

 Posting,

E.Ricci

Just Got Paid…Friday Night…Partying Hopping…

Friday evening,

 Work went by well last night.

Despite the misery of the occasion, it was pretty busy at the club. I made pretty good tips.

One minor setback to the evening was that I ended up getting my sideview mirror ripped off of my car. As fate would have it, some drunken fool decided to break lose from the grasp of one of our establishment’s bouncers and he would proceeded to make a straight dash for my vehicle…specifically the driver’s side of my car.

So, with my mirror now temporarily duct-taped to the side of the my car door, it offers a slight hinderance to my “pimp-mobile”, or whatever you’d call it.

I digress…

Friday, I’m sitting here at one of my friend’s places awaiting a few other guy friends who have planned an evening of clubbin’ for us to potentially indulge in the delights of some new female friends.

It’s been quite a while since i’ve been out to any clubs to meet girls, let alone to dance.

Like most males, I’m not much of a dancer to begin with. I’m actually quite insecure about the whole ordeal. I imagine if coaxed by a friendly face with a nice smile or perhaps by a high enough blood alcohol content level, I might find it easier to ignore my inhibitions.

Nonetheless, one of my boy’s has offered to give me a crash course on dancing so I can find some success this evening.

Wish me luck,

 Posting,

E.Ricci