Facebook Stalking? Oh Internet…What happened to letters and telephones?

Facebook Stalking: A not-so-new or trendy term in today’s dating society, especially at the high school and collegiate levels.

Thanks to the wonderous technologies afforded to our generation, the concepts of a completely blind date are almost extinct.

It’s an interesting topic of discussion that I engaged while in ironically, of all places, a computer lab.

According to UrbanDictionary.com, Facebook Stalking is a covert method of investigation using Facebook.com. It’s good for discovering a wealth of information about people you don’t actually know.

Most people use social networking sites like Facebook to help connect with friends, family, co-workers, and classmates for various reasons ranging anywhere from work, leasure, or play.

Others find Facebook to be useful for alternative means. Specifically, looking up someone that they’re romantically interested in and finding out a ton of information on them before they’ve ever actually met.

It’s like having a scouting report on a potential franchise quarterback in the upcoming draft. The stalker’s the general manager trying to determine with the information that they have gathered if this prospect is worth taking a chance on and drafting to their team.

Sounds a little creepy. Perhaps a little obsessive or just plain stalkerish. Hence, the term Facebook Stalker.

It’s also quite the tool for finding a plethora of information about that hot chick at the gym or the really cute girl that sits behind you in Organic Chemistry.

At the tips of your fingers and within a few clicks and the wave of your mouse, you can find out everything from personal, demographic information to whether they’re single, religious, or even what that person is doing, drinking, and planning in the near distant future. You can find information on that person’s particular musics and movie tastes, even similar information on their best “facebook friends.”

Before you know it, you know more about that prospective friday night date possibility than you ever thought you would without uttering a syllable to that person.

And what good comes from this really? So what, you’ve stalked out the prey? But, you still haven’t gone in for the kill by physically interacting with this person and asking them if they’d care to go out for drinks or to catch a film sometime.

I feel like this is a problem. For starters, you’re only gathering and finding out the information that this person chooses to post up there and share. The information is only what they’ve censored and allowed you to view or know. Half of the information, preferences and pictures that this girl you’re really feeling has posted could be fake or misleading.

This is very subjective and it lacks the face-to-face time and information gathering experience that allows you read a person on more than just statements, preferences, or facts. When you are communicating face-to-face with someone, you are given the chance to read into their physicality or body signals. Their non-verbal communication can tell you what they’re saying or if they’re being truthful.

In addition, if you are only communicating via text message or e-mail with someone, you are losing the ability to interpret the meanings behind what that person is means or is implying. You are unable to listen for things like voice fluctuations, intonations, tone of voice, excetera…

All of these things help people to determine whether or not a person is serious, being sarcastic or cynical. It helps us to determine a person’s level of comfort and how much trust they have in you and the relationship you have.

Face-to-face interaction can also help you to figure out if that girl you met in Pre-Calc or while waiting for the train is really single, does enjoy listening to Jack Johnson, and if she really is interested in you.

My advice is this, it may be useful to rely on the web based social networks to keep tabs on friends and get classnotes from a fellow classmate. Refrain from checking up on someone that you might possess some kind of attraction for.

One, it’s not a good look, especially if that person somehow finds out that you’ve been keeping tabs on them long before your “chance encounter” ever occurred.

Two, nothing is more vital to a relationship’s success than actual phsycial facetime. One-on-one, face-to-face communication. Nothing can replace this bonding time between two people early in a relationship.

Posting,

E.Ricci