I still miss you…

She told me what you said while I’ve been away

Praying for something better, perhaps another day
She said, I think you should know what she wrote
And overwhelmed me with words from a note
“I still miss you, I’ve done everything to move on like i’m supposed to…I still miss you”

At first glance I figured it was for someone else
By now you’d probably made out of that old spell
That love was lost and what you had once felt
By now you’d given away to somebody elseThe words started sounding familiar
After a few reverberations in my head
Not quite something I’ve ever written or read
Though very close to something I’d said

Then it hit me, I realized where I’d heard them
It’d been a few weeks but I remembered when
Another warm summer day, driving to the gym
Eyes on the road ahead with my ears listening in

92.5, it’s been on my radio, a new preset
“so those old songs don’t sneak up”
Country is a good choice for the mood
And the lyrics somehow began to creep up

There it was
I remember listening to Mr. Anderson’s song
Thinking of you, of us
And how so much good turned out all wrong

“I’ve talked to friends
I’ve talked to myself
I’ve talked to God
I prayed like hell but I still miss you
I tried sober I tried drinking
I’ve been strong and I’ve been weak
And I still miss you…”

What did it mean? Was it for me?
Was it some sort of sign?
The fact that I recalled this song
The feelings it revealed within every rhyme?

What should I do?
Should I tell her I love her with all my heart?
That I miss her
That I wish that things hadn’t driven us apart?

That I dream about her every night
That these dreams feel more like reality
That I’d give anything to hold her tight
Or to feel her hands gently caressing me?

That there are so many things I’d like to say to her
But I don’t know how or when or if I ever can
Afterall you left me in quite the predicament
With that lung crushing note you had certified sent

Telling me all I needed to know about you
All about us
And how there’s nothing I can do now
You’d given up

And even now what am I to do?
Even now, with this newfound revelation
Though inspiring and giving birth to hope
It accomplished very little in motivation

Because even if it were directed at me
Even if it were meant for me
There is nothing I can do from here
Though I long for it desparately

It’s out of my control
And I’m sure that you know this
You tied my hands
The minute you signed that notice

Informing me
That I should let go of this
You didn’t love me
I need to get over this

And now here I stand
Both torn and confused
Unsure what to do
Still madly in love with you

Not even sure if “I miss you”
Was a message intended for me
But certain of this
Let’s say, if it was hypothetically:

And somehow, someway
You read this message
And we both felt the same
But didn’t know how to direct it

I can not be the one
To be the first to express it
The only choice I’m left with
Is to wait and try to repress it

Hope and pray that maybe
Just maybe
This isn’t written in vain

That maybe, just maybe
I can have back my ladylove in the rain

Underneath the cherry trees
In the middle of thunderstorms
And whatever else may come
When my dreams take on true forms

I love you
I miss you
It’s YOU I want nothing more
But sadly, I must repeat
The ball is in your court…

So…speak
Or forever hold your peace…E.Ricci  6/28/2008