“Let’s Just…See Where Things Go”

“Let’s Just…See Where Things Go,” is what she said. 

She says that and every guy in America cringes.

I know fellas, I know. GRRR.

We all know what it means. It’s a one way ticket down the dead end trail to relationship catastrophe.

Tuesday of this week I invited third “board” girl over for some grub and more personal conversation.

Why is She so Confusing???

I had pretty much written things off. I didn’t expect any further communication between third “board” girl and I.

I was content with that.

Now, I have no idea what I’ve gotten into. All I know is that I’m knee deep in it.

Wednesday night, with nothing else to do after a really slow evening of class, I somehow found myself on the phone with third “board” actually having an intellectual conversation.

What’s better? Instead of confusion and frustration, it was enjoyable. Playful and fun actually. She’s very honest, but also very sarcastic. This goes well with my cynical and sardonic sense of humor.

You Get What You Give

It’s as old civilization, spanning back to Christ’s Golden Rule and the Buddhist belief in Karma, even as far back as ancient Mesopotamia with the Great Hammurabi and his Codes.

What goes around, comes around.

Case in point: You Get What You Give.

Third “Board” girl, i.e. the one I work with, decided to call me at 4am, for who knew what reason. If I had to guess, which I did the next morning while frustrated with myself for even trying to return her call, the sudden urge to contact me now probably had something to do with the fact that I completely ignored her during our shift the previous evening.

Third “Board” Update

If there could have been a more pristine, more perfectly orchestrated first date, I’d love to see it.

She was GRRRRRRREEEAAAAAATTTTT…

She was gorgeous, funny, interesting, polite, sincere, and most importantly-honest.

The date itself was splendid. 

We did dinner and drinks at a local restaurant. The place stayed open late for us, the owner comp-ed our drinks, we both had a great time together, and towards the end of the evening neither one of us wanted the night to end.

Okay, the recap…

Second “Board” update I

“Oh, I just got home from work i’m watching tv now and I just remembered to call.”

The words via text message from the Salad Works/Hard to Read girl at about 9:30 pm.

At around 11:30 am yesterday I asked her if she was busy and wanted to go out that evening. She responded that she would be working till 8:30 pm but after had no plans and the idea of going out after work, “Sounds great.”

So I told her to give me a call when she got out of work at 8:30. She said ok.

An hour passed. No call.

Mind you, I was in the company of a buddy from college who just happened to be in the area at the time. I was planning on just relaxing with him until Salad Works girl called, at which point I would head out to go pick her up and begin our evening dinner date.

When she finally called, which by the way- she didn’t even call she sent a text message, she informed me that she was watching tv and remembered over an hour after her shift had ended to contact me. What’s worse is, she gave no impression or inclination about wanting to head out at this point.

And frankly, I wasn’t much in the mood to go spending time, money, and effort on a girl that obviously didn’t find me important enough to remember to call. She didn’t even show the decency to call, she sent a text message instead. Come on?!

I was a little disappointed, a pretty frustrated with her. I didn’t ask much of her. I can understand if a person is so busy that it slips their mind about the conversation and the plans that we had made earlier in the day.

But, when you finally do remember that I asked you to call, at least show a little class and call. When you do call, it’d be nice if you offered an apology for forgetting and leaving me waiting.

And if, perhaps, it is the case that you really didn’t feel up for going out after work and that may be why you didn’t call till so late, do me a favor; just call and say it. It looks so much better and respectable for a person to call and say, “hey, I know we had plans tonight but, i’m kind of tired from work and I’d much rather stay in and take a rain check on that date.”

Do not take the cowardly way out by delaying the call call either hoping I’ll forget our plans or in an effort to stall until you’ve come up with the fortitude or a good enough excuse to give me the “brush off”. It seems to me like the right thing to do.

Oh well. Her loss.

Second “Board” Status: Mission Aborted

 I’m off to work so,

Posting,

E.Ricci

Second “Board”

Tonight I will be grabbing another “board”.

This time it will be the girl I mentioned in the previous post. Just to refresh, I have all ready taken this girl out before and we did Salad Works earlier this week. She’s the very hard to read one.

 Well, i’m gonna take another crack at trying to decipher her. Hopefully all goes well.

Not sure what i’m planning for the evening, but i’m definitely feeling dinner. Perhaps, a few drinks afterwards at the bar. We’ll see.

I’ll keep you posted,

E.Ricci

Sunday Roundup

Another weekend gone by and here’s what I learned:

1. Boxing parties that i’ve gone to and paid a $10 door cover to see the fight, should not be disturbed midway through the fight by a circus of women invited by the host as post-fight entertainment for the guests.

I came to see a fight, not a bunch of girls that couldn’t sway my focus from watching paint dry let alone one of biggest rematch main cards in recent boxing history.

2. Being sick and asking for a girl’s phone number are two physical gestures that should not be performed simultaneously by anyone. I don’t care if your Matthew McConaughey, she wont bite on bait that sniffles and sounds like a TB patient when choking out a laugh.

3. A quick hit from the phone calls from this week:

“Yeah, I’ve got a boyfriend. But, we can still hang out if you want. I’m working Valentine’s Day…After I had my daughter in April I’ve been working alot. But I plan on going back to college sometime soon…” -a recent phone conversation between myself and a cute waittress that I left my number with. Left quite the first impression on me if you couldn’t guess.

SUCCESS!!! : /

4. Review of Friday: (from It’s Friday Night and I just got paid…)

It’s not a good look when you head into a club in the middle of the city anticipating a night of casual drinking, dancing, and close encounters with nice young ladies and you end up being one in the majority of male suitors competing for a small handful of girls, most of whom weren’t particularly interested in being approached by unfamiliar faces of the opposite sex.

As I had confessed on Friday’s post before heading out, I’m not and have never been much of a dancer or club-goer. Yet, some of my boys were heading out for the evening and it seemed like a good opportunity for fun and to meet new faces.

I felt good entering into the endeavor, all decked out, hair did up, looking spiffy, if I do say so myself. I had my little crash course on basic club dancing given to me by my friends.

We arrived there around midnight. And as we’re walking in, I realized, “What the hell am I doing here?”

What’s worse is that after we walked in, it became immediately apparent that we’d entered into a quote un quote, “Sausage Fest”, as one of my friends uttered.

“Wwwhhhhaaaaat a waste of a $15 cover,” I responded.

For every girl in the establishment there had to have been 12-15 guys. Not a good ratio. Especially when almost every one of those guys were there to meet and dance with a girl and not every one of those girls were planning to meet and dance with a new guy.

We didn’t stay long.

And for the little bit of time that we were there we didn’t find much success.

It really wasn’t my environment. Perhaps, it was the choice of venue, the ambiance, the music, or even just the lack of prospective suitors. For whatever reason, I just didn’t feel comfortable in the situation and I almost felt relieved at our early departure.

There must be a better way to go about this? I mean, let’s look at this scenario for a second;

First, you get all dressed up, maybe a little overdressed in some instances.
Then, you get together with a bunch of your friends and head out to a club, (is it just me or does going out in a group of people of the same sex with the intention of meeting and connecting with those of the opposite sex seem a little counter productive in theory?)
Next, you pay money for the bridge toll, money to park if you can’t find any free parking, money for the door cover, money for drinks, money for the friend who didn’t bring enough money and ran out all ready, and maybe if your a gentleman like me you potentially spend money on drinks for a girl that you’ve met and actually like.
Last, you wander aimlessly through a hot, humid, sweaty, smelly sea of people girating and grinding all over each other like simpletons pretending to be a slightly evolved modern chromagnum.
By the end of the evening, your hot, sweaty, out of money, slightly buzzed but wearing off, and the probability is high that you didn’t end up leaving the club with a phone number, let alone a fine female.

A man dressing up, blowing money, grinding and humping up on an unknowing girl in a dark, humid, strange, loud environment…hm…the epitome of a gentleman…and very seductive. I think not.

Do women even like this? Is this really what women are doing? Or what they even want?

Apparently not. According to an article written by Bill Stieg of Men’s Health, most women are repulsed by the modern day art of attraction and seduction being employed by men.

In a study done by Jonathan Huber M.D., of Queens University College in Kingston, Ontario, only 3 out of 10 women find men grinding on women in clubs to be acceptable behavior.

In the same article, a Men’s Health survey of women revealed that most find the action of approaching a woman in a club and trying to grind your pelvis onto theirs in a sexually provocative way to be digusting, disrespectful, and a sign of desperation on the male’s behalf.

Ouch… basically, if you’re a man that goes into clubs, these women think you’re a desperate pig that is incapable of being a gentleman.

Now, most men would argue, as Stieg’s article also points out, that there are some women out there that find this to be acceptable behavior and that in men’s opinions, it’s easier and less time consuming of a way to achieve your goals then alterior methods.

Even still, I find there’s a simple practice of principles, morals and self-respect that seems to be lacking in this circumstance. Which, in turn, lends itself to a perception of disrespectful guys meeting nasty girls with nothing positive to gain from these encounters.

Ugh…

Maybe I’m too much of a gentleman to offer myself up to this. Maybe I am too old. Then again, maybe I wasn’t quite inebriated enough to relieve myself of all my inhibitions about the situation.

Who knows.

This much I believe to be true…as my father once said, “You won’t meet any nice girls at the club worth taking home to meet you Mother.” I believe this rule holds true for the women too.

 Posting,

E.Ricci

First “Board” update II

DISASTROUS.

At least I feel it was.

If there has ever been two people with clearly little, if anything, in common that were placed in a particular circumstance that required direct communication in an effort to stimulate chemistry or some connection, it was between this girl and I last night.

I’ve never had so little to say to a girl I was just getting to know. And what’s worse is that she barely said a word herself!

I asked her questions most of the night. At one point I must have reworded the same question three different ways, in an effort to get more of a response out of her than just one-word answers.

Let’s go back a little first.

I called her. Gave her directions to my place from hers. In my estimation, she lives 20 minutes, tops, from my place. After directions, I told her I would be ordering take out in a little while so that it’d be arriving around the time she got there.

Take out arrives. Twenty-five minutes has passed. Still no girl.

Fourty minutes…still nothing.

Finally, a little over an hour, she arrives.

We sit down, the food is all ready cold, if not room temperature at this point.

We begin watching the movie, which I wasn’t really interested in. I tried asking questions about her, here and there, throughout the film.

And I barely got a breath out of her.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I can understand if a girl is a little shy. And to be honest, I’m not turned on by girls that suffer from diarrhea of the mouth. It’s not an attractive quality for a female to keep sputtering off at the mouth for minutes at a time and not stop to catch a breath or allow me to get a syllable’s worth of input.

But, being the polar opposite, an unresponsive verbal drought, isn’t much fun, either.

By the end of the movie, we were on separate sides of the couch, hadn’t spoken a word to each other in over an hour, and the awkwardness of the situation was prevalent.

I’m sure it didn’t help that about halfway through the movie, when she actually was close to me, I would intermittedly stop paying attention to the movie and catch a glimpse of her out of the corner of my eye.

I don’t know why. I mean, every guy looks at his date, checks her out when she’s not looking. Even men in long term relationships can confess to falling into a spell where they just watch their woman, how beautiful she is, what she’s doing, why she’s doing what she’s doing, how good she looks, how lucky am i to be with her, for her to love me.

There’s only one problem though, this was a first date and I wasn’t just catching a quick peek of her then refocusing on the movie. I was gawking.

What’s worse is, I wasn’t gawking because I was thinking or feeling any of the things that I listed above.

I was gawking because I was comparing her to my Ex. And I knew I was.

“She doesn’t have curly hair. She doesn’t laugh enough. She doesn’t smell like strawberry lip balm when I approach her. She’s pretty, but, is she pretty the way my Ex was? She doesn’t look at me nearly enough…”

All of these things ran through my head. Finally, I managed to stop myself for second and just enjoyed the movie.

I pulled her a little closer. She obliged. Good step forward, I thought.

Then I sort of craned my neck and head closer to hers. Her scent hit my senses and it immediately started up again, “She doesn’t smell the same, do I even like this fragrance?..”

I looked at her again. Stopped. And again. Stopped. Then again.

Then it happened.

I guess in a darker scene of the movie where the light from the kitchen shined heavily on the TV screen and our images reflected strongly in the screen. She must have noticed me.

Out of the corner of her eye, her eyes locked on mine. Shit!

I immediately flashed my attention back to the movie, pretending that what had just happened, somehow hadn’t.

Time passed, the movie reached its ending, and things got real quiet. Real quiet.

After the movie, we watched a little bit of the news. Talked about the primaries. Nothing really special. She had to get going though because she had work in the morning.

I asked about seeing her again. Not sure why I did because I felt no real interest or desire to want to see her. I suppose I asked to gauge how I did for the evening. See how things went.

Surprisingly, she said yes.

Hug good bye for the night. No kiss. I wasn’t really sure if I was expecting anything or not.

As for whether I’ll call her again, take her out again, I’m not sure. Still undecided. The chemistry was very lacking. We’ll see.

Posting,

E.Ricci

First “Board” update I

General Tsu’s and a flick at my place it is…

Updates pending,

E.Ricci

First “Board”

Well well well…

Tonight will be my first, (hopefully of many to come!), dates in my self-proclaimed “rebound period”.

Out of respect of the girls that will be participating in this little experiment, (obviously unknowingly), it would be best to leave out names. Descriptions are….hm…let me think….A GO!!!!!

The girl is very sweet. I met her over my brother’s place last sunday at a Superbowl party.

I saw her, it was purely esthetic. No need to lie about these things. She was attractive. Too be honest, not quite my type. Still, she was very cute.

What caught my attention last week when she sat down next to me was her sincere browne eyes. Eyes are clutch, very key to me. We’ll learn these things as we go along.  Cute face, caramel skin. Legs and body were definitely her most amiable intial feature or quality.

She’s sweet. Very intelligent from what I gathered at our first encounter. A little timid I fear. We’ll see.

Question looms: 

Dinner and a movie?

OR…

Chinese take out and a video?

 Dinner is always a good way to get to know someone. I like dinner, I do well on Dinner “interviews”…i.e. Dates. But, with limited funds and a desire to spend as little as possible on as many “subjects” as possible, the dinner card will have to be used sparingly.

Movies….I LOVE going to the movies. My only concern with going to the movies is that you restrict the very motive or objective of a first date-communication and getting to know the other person. We’ll keep movies in the back pocket as well.

WELL NOW…Take out and a flick at home?…this is perfect for many reasons. Mainly, it’s cheap, it provides me with a comfort zone, it promotes conversation, etc…

But not too many girls, at least in my experience, are down for the “stay at home thing” on a first or second date. Am I wrong? I mean, most girls I’ve encountered usually like to go out somewhere in public with a person they’ve just met, especially if it’s a total stranger, irregardless of how attracted they may be to this person. Right?

Uh, decisions, decisions…

…..Verdict: Take out and Blockbuster, pending her approval.

I’ll keep you posted,

E.Ricci